


Gipsy Defender

by Sam4265



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, M/M, ice cream plays a weirdly big role in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam4265/pseuds/Sam4265
Summary: Jake knew everything about Nate, just like Nate knew everything about him. They’d been in each others heads during the entirety of their teenage years (and boy had that lead to some awkward discoveries), and just recently they’d refreshed their knowledge of each other. Though to be perfectly honest, there hadn’t been much time to focus on the memories brought out by the neural handshake, thanks, of course, to the imminent apocalyptic danger.Or the one where the boys have to go through another neural handshake, and this time there's a lot more angst involved.





	Gipsy Defender

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I saw this movie yesterday. I'm already way too invested in this.

In the aftermath of the kaiju attack there was a lot of press to cover, a lot of forms to fill out, and a lot of damage to be undone. They were down over a dozen pilots. Lives lost in the blink of an eye. People with families who needed them. It was a rough few weeks for everyone in the days that followed. There wasn’t a lot of time for a reprieve, and there sure as hell wasn’t a lot of time to just sit and think about what had happened. How another city was decimated, how all their jaegers were destroyed. The PPDC would need to rebuild from scratch after this, and this was just three kaiju. One shuddered to think what would happen if a breach ever opened again.

In the end it took Jake three weeks to even be in the same room as Nate for a reason that wasn’t official PPDC business. It was three am, and Jake was sitting, once again in his robe, once again eating ice cream. None of the “must be fighting fit” cadets were eating it, and Jake thought it was a damn waste of good ice cream. He was looking around for the missing sprinkles container when Nate said from the doorway, “It’s in the cabinet to your left. No, the one by your feet.” 

Jake rooted around for a moment before finding it hiding behind a container of bite-sized marshmallows. He pulled those out too for the hell of it.

“So, any of the jaeger’s pull through?” Jake asked. He’d been getting the cadets back in order while Nate dealt with the jaegers. Nate sighed.

“Nope, we’re starting completely from scratch. I think they managed to salvage parts from most of them, but all in all it’s looking like a total jaeger reboot.” He pulled a second spoon out from a drawer, and took a large scoop out of Jake’s ice cream. Jake made an affronted sound, and pulled the ice cream out of Nate’s reach. Nate rolled his eyes, and grabbed the open container of vanilla ice cream from the counter and started eating the ice cream straight from the tin.

“I forgot you do that. Who taught you your manners?” Jake asked. Nate smirked.

“No one, you know that,” he replied. Jake did know that. He knew everything about Nate, just like Nate knew everything about him. They’d been in each others heads during the entirety of their teenage years (and boy had _that_ lead to some awkward discoveries), and just recently they’d refreshed their knowledge of each other. Though to be perfectly honest, there hadn’t been much time to focus on the memories brought out by the neural handshake, thanks, of course, to the imminent apocalyptic danger. When they were teenagers there was nothing they didn’t know about each other. For God’s sake they knew each other’s first sexual fantasies, and, more importantly, they knew each other’s baggage. Jake’s life had been one unlucky brake after another, especially concerning his father. Nate’s had been a bit more lonely. Shitty parents turned into absent parents when he was entirely too young, and he’d mostly been raised in the jaeger program. Jake had let most of Nate’s stiff military personality slide when they were younger, since he knew it wasn’t really Nate’s fault that he was like that. Being raised in the military would do that to a guy. Since coming back though it was like Nate was a million times worse. He was stiffer, and more formal. Jake had been the only person who ever let Nate be a kid, and with him gone there was no one left for Nate to be himself with. Neither of them had ever been very good at making friends. Nate was too militaristic, and Jake didn’t care enough about the program, his only concern had been proving he was more than a name. They’d been each other’s best and only friend, and Jake had never really thought about what Nate might have gone through after he left. No friends, no family, no one left to care for Nate other than his superiors, who were more interested in his skills than they were in him.

“Well, that doesn’t excuse you. You were raised in a military base after all, you should be all strict about things like egregious health code violations. That ice cream’s for everyone, you know,” Jake said, taking a large bite of vanilla with sprinkles, marshmallows, and whipped cream. He missed his mouth in part, and felt whipped cream smear onto his cheek. Nate snorted a laugh, and went back to spooning out his share. Jake wiped the whipped cream off with his finger, and then sucked his finger clean. Nate’s eyes stayed studiously on his ice cream.

“It’s been nice, having you back, I mean. My last partner was a moron. We were barely drift compatible, and it was weird having someone else in my head,” Nate said suddenly, eyes still on the ice cream. Jake twisted his lips into a frown. He’d told Amara he didn’t remember what the fight was about that had split them so violently, but that had been a lie. Jake remembered, he remembered all too well. It had started, as most fights between boys do, with a girl.

——

Jake had snuck out with one of the other cadets, a girl called Kate. Nate hated her. She was short with everyone who wasn’t directly above her, and she always gave Nate these sly little smirks whenever Jake would choose her over him.

Jake was gone until nearing four in the morning, despite the fact that they had training first thing at 0700. He “snuck” in as best he could, but Nate was a light sleeper and woke easily at the sound of Jake fumbling around the room.

“Jake? What the hell time is it?” Nate asked. Jake sighed, loud and uncoordinated.

“I dunno, mate, why don’t you check?” He shot back. Nate sighed and sat up.

“Are you drunk?” He asked. Jake shook his head, smiling.

“No man, just a bit tipsy, Katie loves a drink. She holds it well too, one of the things I love about her actually,” Jake rambled, his accent thick and garbled. He was too coordinated to be truly smashed, but he was definitely right about being tipsy, and probably more than a bit. Nate pulled off the covers off his legs, and stood slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stood to meet Jake, and glared at his bedraggled appearance.

“What the hell is wrong with you? We have training in three hours!” Nate sneered.

“What’s wrong with me? You’re the one not having any fun, we’re teenagers for fucks sake, this is what we’re supposed to do!” Jake shot back.

“We’re also in the military, Jake!”

“Yeah, I know what I signed up for, thanks,” Jake made his way slowly to his bunk. Nate turned to watch him move.

“You know, if you ever want to get daddy’s approval, you might want to try acting like an adult,” he snapped.

Jake’s body froze. He was silent for a long moment, before turning slowly. There was fire in his eyes, and Nate had the sudden thought that the alcohol was probably lowering his inhibitions. This wasn’t going to be pretty. 

“What did you just say to me?” Jake asked, voice low and threatening. Nate crossed his arms and stood his ground. The logical part of his brain was telling him that Jake was drunk, and that he just needed to be the bigger man, but it was four am, and logic could go to hell.

“Oh and you think you’re so special do you?” Jake carried on. “Well, let me tell you something, _special boy_ , nobody can fucking tolerate you! You’re own parents left you, I’m your only friend, and the only people who ever even talk to you, other than me, are your superior officers! So fuck off, Nate, you’re just jealous that I have girls lining up for me, and no one’s even given you a second glance!” Jake snarled. With each passing insult he got closer and closer until he was nose to nose with Nate. Nate felt a sharp pain deep in his chest. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much if it wasn’t true.

“What about you, Jake? The son of Marshall Stacker Pentecost, playing hooky with the girl next door? I’m sure he’d be real proud,” Nate shot back. Jake didn’t even flinch before his right fist was flying out, striking Nate across the jaw. Nate dropped hard. He hadn’t been expecting the punch, or the violence that came with it. He stepped back up, blood trickling from the split in his lip.

“Real mature, asshole,” Nate snapped. Jake rushed toward him and shoved him back into the bedpost. 

“You need to watch your mouth, Lambert. Don’t forget that at the end of the day, my name’s still Pentecost, and yours still means nothing. If anybody’s going home it’s going to be you,” Jake hissed. He shoved Nate aside and stormed out the doors.

The next morning he tried to pilot their jaeger by himself, and failed. The next morning his father kicked him out of the program. The next morning he left, without a word to Nate. 

——

Jake didn’t like feeling guilty for the past, but here he was, feeling it.

“You know, I’m sorry I left you out to dry. You were too good to be left on the sidelines. I’m just glad you found somebody else to be compatible with,” Jake said, swirling the dye from the sprinkles around in his half melted ice cream. Nate frowned.

“I- I mean, it’s fine. I never really cared about that anyway. I was just mad you left without saying anything,” Nate said. Jake raised an eyebrow. 

“I was in the infirmary for a couple hours, almost a whole day. You could’ve come by if you wanted to say goodbye.”

Nate shook his head, “I was still mad at you about the fight, about what you said. They told me you’d been hurt, not that you’d been kicked out. I thought you’d be coming back.” Nate stared into his ice cream. Jake’s eyebrows twitched together in confusion. Nate stood sharply and tossed his spoon into the sink.

“Never mind, it was years ago, it’s stupid to argue about it now. I’ll see you later, Ranger.” With that he made his way through the kitchen, and out the door. Jake couldn’t help but feel like he’d missed something. He set his ice cream down on the table and resolved then and there not to let poor communication come between them again. He needed to know what was in Nate’s head, and the only way to do it was to get their new jaeger online. 

—— 

Gipsy Defender was the third generation of the Gipsy line. It was so named due to the fact that Gipsy Avenger was the only jaeger still functioning when the big kaiju had to be taken down, the last line of defense so to speak. Jake liked the name, Nate mostly liked it.

It was three weeks after their late night rendezvous before Gipsy Defender was functional enough for Jake and Nate to attempt a neural handshake. It was three long weeks in Jake’s opinion. Three weeks during which he watched Nate like a hawk, watching for any sign of what was bothering him; it hadn’t been a very fulfilling or successful three weeks.

Gipsy Defender was big and beautiful, even while still a prototype. Jake and Nate made their way into her command center, and Jake wolf whistled at the new digs. 

“Very nice. I tell you what, if it gets us an upgrade each time, I could get used to kaiju breaking through rifts again.”

Nate gave him a flat look

“Don’t even joke,” he said. Jake snorted.

“Did your sense of humor curl up and die when you hit puberty? You know what, I was there, it did, I remember.”

Nate rolled his eyes and elected not to respond. They put their helmets on and locked themselves into the machine. Jake could feel the adrenaline surge through his veins. It was a familiar feeling. Being in a jaeger always seemed to get his blood pumping, but today it was more, because today he would finally figure out what was wrong with Nate. He’d been more distant than usual the last three weeks. It was like any progress they’d made upon Jake’s return had been shattered, and they were back to being Ranger Lambert and Ranger Pentecost. It was torture.

“All right, initiating neural handshake in five,” Nate began the countdown.

“Four.” Jake shook off his nerves and let the adrenaline sing through his veins.

“Three.” Nate checked through their systems to make sure everything was running right.

“Two.” Jake heard a go ahead from the command center.

“One.” It was like being hit over the head with a brick. Jake hadn’t realized how long it had been since he and Nate had properly melded, but now it was clear. All the emotion and memories associated with the past few years slammed into him like a freight train. First came Jake’s. There was his despair at being kicked out, his bitterness about his fights with both Nate and his father. There was his haze of years spent as a thief and a squatter. Memories passed by in a blur, girl after girl, guy after guy, drink after drink, parties in busted up mansions and leaning on kaiju bones while sliding his hand up a different skirt, or pair of boardshorts every night. Then bam! All at once the emotion of the week of the kaiju return hit him like a bullet, Mako’s death piercing through his heart, his eyes bleeding tears. His dread over seeing Nate again, and disappointment at seeing him so much more like a military man than he had been. His big brother love for Amara, and the complete and utter glee at having finished off the kaiju like a true Pentecost.

All of it passed by within minutes, leaving Jake breathless and tear stricken, but before he could relax, Nate’s memories came forth on full throttle.

The first thing was the fight, the hurt and the anger, the disbelief and guilt and _pain_ when Jake left. The mindless years spent following orders, coming home to an empty room, lonelier than he’d ever been before. Nothing but training and drilling, pushing himself to breaking. Meeting Jules too long after, still lonely, but now a little less. The thing with Jules that wasn’t really a thing, and the muted emotion that come with it. The glee at having a friend, and the despair that came with _he’s right, nobody can stand me_ after Jules breaks off the thing that wasn’t a thing and he goes back to being _lonely_ lonely. The uncertainty upon hearing the name again, the disappointment when Jake hated him upon first sight. Then again, bam! It was kaiju attack part two. The adrenaline, the rush, the pain that came from Jake’s pain when Mako died. The bitterness he hated but couldn’t help when _I’ll always be a footnote in Jake Pentecost’s life_. The sharp pain of the injury and the sharper pain of _useless_ when he had to eject. The _God dammit, I still love this stupid idiot and I can’t even stick around to help him-_

The shock was sudden and clean, and shattered the neural handshake. Jake’s shock and Nate’s shock at the words so carelessly thrown up in the air. They cringed and winced their way out of the handshake, and then all they could do was stand there in silence, shock and apprehension filling the space. 

“Pentecost? Lambert? What happened? The neural handshake was unsuccessful, report,” command chimed in their ears. It seemed to spur Nate into action.

“It’s been a while, sir, we just need a minute to acclimate to each other again. I’d like to request a breather and try again tomorrow, when we’ve had time to adjust,” he said, and damn did he just sound so calm. Jake had always been jealous of Nate’s ability to be so calm after the emotion dump that was the neural handshake. Even as kids he’d been like that. He used to tell Jake it was because emotion was frowned upon in a military upbringing. He used to tell Jake a lot of things.

“Request granted, we’ll see you tomorrow rangers.”

Nate couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He detached from the system and booked it in record time. Jake could only watch him go, lost for words and completely frozen. A beep from his display jerked him out of his stasis, and he quickly detached himself. He ran out of the jaeger, and made his way back towards the barracks. He had no idea where he’d find Nate, but he had to look. This was something big, something messy, something they needed to talk about. Romantic relationships between pilots was common, and though it was technically “frowned upon,” everyone turned a blind eye to it, because anyone who’d been a pilot knew just how powerful the emotional connection was. Unfortunately, it was one thing to know that, and a completely other thing to experience it first hand. It wasn’t like Jake didn’t know that Nate was handsome. He’d admitted it to multiple people, even Nate himself. It wasn’t like Jake hadn’t thought about what a handsome couple they’d make, because he’d imagined sex between them to be hotter than the sun, but that was in the past, and that was because of the military rigidity and lack of options.

Right?

In truth, he’d never really thought about a serious relationship with Nate because one had never been on the table, especially not for him. Jake didn’t do relationships, he did one night stands, he did flings and friends with benefits. He certainly did not do long term. He’d never slept with Nate because Nate was important and special, and important and special and sex didn’t really go together for Jake. He’d never thought about what Nate might think of that. Had he been jealous, all those years ago? Had he been jealous earlier, in the drift? During the flashbacks of meaningless sex, Jake had felt a spike of jealousy that couldn’t have been his own. He widened his eyes as he realized it had to be Nate’s, and he quickened his pace. He’d never considered Nate’s side of things, he hadn’t even realized there’d been a Nate’s side of things to not consider. Jake came to a sudden realization: if he could’ve been having sex with Nate, of all people, all this time and not known it, he was going to be pissed. On the tail end of that realization came another one: he wanted to have sex with Nate more than he wanted any of the faceless, meaningless hookups from the past few years. That realization came with a big side of _fuck._

——

Jake finally found Nate hiding out in the kitchen, drowning a heaping scoop of ice cream in sprinkles. Nate looked up when Jake walked in, and sighed.

“I thought I’d try it for once, since you seem to like it so much,” he said, putting the sprinkles aside.

“Nate, we need to talk about this,” Jake said, not willing to hinder their conversation with meaningless small talk.

Nate nodded around a mouthful of mostly sprinkles, “Yeah, I know.” 

There was silence for a long moment, both of them reluctant to go any further.

“You seem to enjoy talking, why don’t you start,” Nate said, finally. Jake ignored the probably well deserved dig, and started to talk. 

“First of all, I’m sorry about all the things I said to you before I left. I shouldn’t have said any of them, they weren’t true.”

Nate sighed, “They were and you know it, Jake. You don’t lie when you’re drunk.”

“But I exaggerate,” Jake tried. “Sure you didn’t have many friends when we were younger, but neither did I. I had no right to say any of that to you because I was in the same boat, except instead of doing something about it like you, I just wallowed in self-pity, and I got my stupid ass kicked out of the program. I shouldn’t have said those things, and they weren’t true. You’re an amazing person Nate, you always were.”

Nate looked away, back to his sprinkles with ice cream.

“And to add to the list of things I’m sorry for, I’m also sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. We were best friends, I should never have done that to you. And, I’m sorry I ignored what you were feeling. I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” he trailed off, feeling stupid and lacking. He didn’t know how to say what he wanted to say.

“You don’t have to say anything, Jake. It was just a stupid crush when we were teenagers. You were always the guy who had everything and everyone, and I was just sort of confused. Everybody needs a first crush, it was nothing, you don’t have to feel bad about it,” Nate said, and no Jake wasn’t letting him get away with that bullshit. 

“And back there? In the jaeger? That memory from when you got hurt and Amara had to take over? Was that just a stupid crush?” Jake asked. Nate went very still. He stared down at the sprinkles, and watched silently as the colors drained off and swirled together in the whiteness of the vanilla ice cream. 

“What do you want me to say, Jake?” He asked, finally looking up. “Do you want me to tell you that it was more than a stupid crush? That I was jealous that everyone seemed to catch your attention but me? That the night we had that stupid fight I got mad, not because you got drunk, but because you got drunk with her instead of asking me? Do you want me to tell you that I’m gay and that’s why it never worked out with Jules? That I’ve been hung up on your stupid ass since I was old enough to know what it meant to be hung up on someone, and that letting you down like that in the jaeger made me feel like the lowest piece of shit in the universe. Because dammit, if I can’t even fight with you, what good am I?” Nate’s eyes were intense and laser focused. Jake was shocked. He hadn’t been expecting that. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“We don’t talk anymore. You don’t like me right now, I know that. You’re pissed at me for sticking with this when all you ever did was hate it. So you see, in my stupid mind, when we were kids, as long as you kept hopping from person to person, there was still a chance you’d land on me, but if our friendship is torn to shreds, then there’s no hope of ever being anything at all. The only time we spend together is on work, and the only time you ever need me is in that jaeger, so having to jettison meant giving up my one hold on you, and it hurt like hell.” He went silent for a moment, letting the impact of what he’d said sink in.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jake, but at least now you know. Now you can request Amara for your new partner, and I can ship my stupid ass to a different coastline, and give us both some breathing room.” Nate threw his ice cream in the sink, and by this time all the sprinkles had blended together into a muddy gray. He stormed past Jake and made a beeline for the door, not that Jake was about to let him. Jake grabbed his wrist, and pulled. Nate stopped, but he didn’t turn around, he didn’t look at Jake.

“I want you to know that I never looked at you like I did any of those other people because you meant more to me. You were special, and I didn’t think special and sex fit together. Those people were meaningless, Nate, and you’ve never been meaningless to me,” Jake said. Nate still didn’t turn around, so Jake tugged on his arm again, and this time Nate turned slowly.

“You mean the world to me, Nate, and maybe it’s too early to say I love you, but I sure as hell want to work to get there,” Jake said, looking Nate right in the eye. This wasn’t something he wanted Nate to misinterpret, or to miss the full scope of it. This was true, as far as Jake was concerned. Sure he couldn’t say he loved Nate, not yet, not while this was all new, but he knew he felt something for him that was suspiciously close to love, and that he’d never felt this way about anyone else. Ever.

He moved forward, and thankfully Nate didn’t back up. When they were close enough, Jake grabbed Nate’s hips and pulled him into a searing kiss. Nate’s hands came up to rest on Jake’s arms, and he carefully pushed Jake away. He licked his lips and Jake felt heat shoot through the bottom of his stomach.

“You better not be fucking with me,” Nate said. Jake snorted.

“Isn’t that kind of the point?” He asked. Nate shot him a glare, and Jake held his hands up in surrender. 

“Ok, not the time for jokes, I get it. I’m not screwing with you Nate, you mean more to me than anyone else in the world. Now that Mako’s gone, you’re all I’ve got left, and I’m not letting you go, _ever._ Ok?”  

Nate nodded, a smile twitching it’s way onto his lips.

“Yeah, ok,” he said. Jake smirked and pulled him back in for another mind blowing kiss. His hands wandered from Nate’s hips up his shirt, and then back down over his ass. Nate moaned and kissed his way down Jake’s neck.

“You know, I’ve never wished so badly that my dad was still around,” Jake said suddenly. Nate stopped.

“What?” He asked, pulling back. “Why?”

“Because I’d love too have seen his face when he realized I was fucking his favorite student.”

Nate screwed his face up as Jake cackled.

“Way to kill the mood asshat,” Nate said, trying not to laugh. Jake rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sure, mood’s gone. Would it still happen to be gone if I told you my quarters, which are both soundproof and house a surprisingly large bed, are empty right now?” 

Nate just rolled his eyes and led the way out of the kitchen. Jake laughed as he ran ahead of him, and, in the back of his mind, sent a silent apology to the ice cream that was going to sit there all night long, and melt.


End file.
